how?

sigggggh
i dont know i cant sleep my tummy feel empty and so do i ;(
well, how many time should i spilled this words ' i miss you i miss you and i miss you' i think i need to let it go now? shall i? or shall i not! smash some eggs on my fayce! why on earth would i say 'shall i not!' BUMMER! such an ass! how i wish you could tell me something before you leave without a words and it all left unspoken.

i wonder if i ever cross your mind dear boy? i guess NO!
have you ever wonder how painful i am here to be left hanging? NO U DONT!
you miss me? NO NOT AT ALL FOR YOU!
did u even think of me? totally no :'(
you happy to see me like this? OH YES YOU ARE :')

how i hate when emotional is attacking me. it just made heels over head thinking bout it how i hate when it always be you for everything that came across my mind. sigh sigh sigh.

can my life just skip this part? being pathetic asshole. ooooh DANG IT!

god. im so stressed out. what will you do when youre stressed? you'll eat alot! well i am that person! i feel like eating like bunch of fuds like burgers,fries,ice creams and etc etc except babi ok! though i always bring up babi for eg 'gilaaa babi nyaman tu eh di grill bah!' I DONT EAT BABI! IN MA REAL LIFE!
ive been eating alot this lately and its been 2 weeks in a row i missed my workout session every evenin. i guess i'll be fat like babi for few weeks more ;) ELEK SHA OK?!

the reason for my stressed is :
- i suppose to have my driving test by this week i wanted it to be this week but.. postponed to nextweek? oh wait a sec.. NEXTWEEK? when i was on the phone yesterday i was like 'r u kiddin me wuman?' nextweek? ho shizzle! arent i suppose to be working? yess i am ! i'll be starting working nextweek but WHAT THE HELL is my driving test will be next week? damnit! but.. its actually my fault tho i suppose to do it lastweek but im afraid that i'll flunk again so i take it this week then this week is fulled then i'll be waitting nextweek! come on! have a little kesian for me please inda dapat kah? its not like im gonna do the test like 2-3 hours! fuckit! srsly this thing is like over the limit of my anger.
- then dad is like mad at me like im the one who brought all the problem. well FINE! i know it WAS MY FAULT! coz i cancelled my test but please put a little feeling for this daughter of his who needs him in any condition that she'll be going through! i still need my dad okay!
- another thing this HAS TO BE A SHHSSSSSH! i cant tell not every problem of mine i can let it out here. but seriously its heartbreaking ;(
- IM NOT WELL PREPARED FOR ANYTHING EVERYTHING! SIGH! :(

so adious for now.

happy birthday amar :DD

cause im a loser in love